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Welcome to my Valentine's Day Newsletter!
It's the month of love! If you are in a relationship, you most likely will be celebrating on February the 14th. Have you found the right partner? If not, this period is the perfect time to start thinking about improving your love life.
First, I'll start by sharing my thoughts on what to look for in a partner, then I'll give you some tips on how to spice up your Valentine's day celebration. Later, you will find out what some relationship experts recommend to sustain a healthy bond with your love interest. The question of the week will help to broaden your knowledge of human sexuality.
When I was a little girl, I believed that love was simple. I thought that as long as I liked a boy and he liked me, it was a love match made in heaven. As I grew up, I realized that it was somewhat more complicated than that. If you are looking for a long-term relationship, you must have a clear idea of whom you are searching for. If not, you will soon face the reality that finding "Mr. or Mrs. Right" will take longer than expected.
I often hear people say that they are "in love". But few know what "love" is, except that they have this intense emotion and feel hot and cold at the same time. You may have experienced this rush of adrenaline when you met someone you found attractive. But soon, you were probably disappointed when you discovered who the person really was.
A few years ago, I came across a definition of love that is very different from what we are used to. The author (Dr. Greg Baer) said that love is "caring about someone else's happiness without any thought of what you might get in return". How many of us can honestly say that we entered into a relationship and did not think first about our own interests?
The problem may be deeper than we might expect. Most people that you will meet may be emotionally/spiritually unhealthy. As much as the person wants to love you, he/she can't because there's no love inside to give. When a person is dealing with unresolved issues, the focus is on healing these wounds - not loving you. A clue as to whether or not you are ready for a relationship is your ability to experience, on a consistent basis, a sense of peace and joy on your own.
A friend of mine used to date a man who was clinically depressed. At first, she thought that she could "heal" him with her "love". After a few months of being his around-the-clock therapist, she realized that this relationship was becoming a failed rescue mission. She had to admit to herself that as much as she wanted to help him, she also had to think about her own well being. She soon ended that relationship and learned this valuable lesson.
Also give yourself enough time to get to know the person. Sometimes you can be so excited by your new love interest, that you don't pay attention to warning signs that could save you a lot of pain and time. Meet the person's friends and family and see how he/she interacts with them - you will be surprised at what you will discover about your new found partner.
Be sure to choose a partner who has similar lifestyle/values/goals. By doing so, you will save yourself a lot of frustration. If you are very health conscious and your partner smokes, drink and is inactive, you will have issues on the long run. We tend to be attracted to people who understand us and with whom we share similar interests.
You need to be at the same life stage as your partner if not, one of you may have to sacrifice a major goal to stay in that relationship. For example, when I was still in school, I was not ready for marriage and kids. If my boyfriend wanted to settled down right away, he would have to wait too many years to start a family.
Romantic relationships can be complicated or very simple. If you can find someone who is healthy and with whom you can share many similar interests/goals in your life, you may have a keeper. If you live in a large city, the odds are definitively in your favour in finding the right partner! Go for it!
Until the next issue,
If you are in a romantic relationship, here are some strategies to keep improving on it:
- Keep the courtship with partner alive. What you used to do forhim/her while you were dating, you should continue doing throughout the relationship.
- Have honest communicate with your mate. If something bothers you, discuss it as soon as possible to clear up any tension.
- Laugh together. It's a great way to reduce stress. Do not use negative humour (i.e. sarcasm) or avoid an important issue by using humour.
- Be committed to your relationship. Both of you should feel that the relationship is on solid ground.
- Schedule time to spend together especially if you are very busy.
- Focus on what your partner does right. He/she will be encouraged to repeat the behaviour.
- Keep on learning and growing together. Try new activities with your mate to keep the relationship interesting.
To spice up you Valentine's day celebration, check these unique gift ideas and activities:
Unusual love story book:
Message cuff links for him:
Sexy games for both of you:
Truth In Motion
"Deepak Chopra - Love"
"Do You Know The #1 Secret To A Truly Happy Relationship?"
You Wanted To Know...
If my boyfriend had a bigger penis, would I get more pleasure during intercourse?
This is one of the most common questions about sex.
The average length of a man's erect penis is 5.5 inches and its diameter is about 1.5 inches. The average length of an aroused woman's vagina is 4 inches while the diameter will adapt to the size of the man's penis.
Based on this, the average man's penis is more than adequate to fill your vagina canal. Since 90% of your touch sensitive nerves are located at the entrance of your vagina, the thickness of your boyfriend's penis has a greater impact in giving you pleasure than its length.
Now For Something Completely Different
Raw Oyster: has a very high concentration of zinc which raises sperm and testosterone production. Hence, it contributes to virility.
Dark Chocolate: helps the brain produce the feel-good neurotransmitter serotonin and gets you in the mood.
Butzer, Bethany, and Nicholas A. Kuiper. "Humor use in romantic relationships: the effects of relationship satisfaction and pleasant versus conflict situations.(Report)."
The Journal of Psychology. 142.3 (May 2008): 245(16).
Grayson, Henry, "Mindful Loving", Gotham Books, United States, 2003, 285 pgs.
Rosen-Grandon, Jane R., Jane E. Myers, and John A. Hattie. "The relationship between marital characteristics, marital interaction processes, and marital satisfaction."
Journal of Counseling and Development. 82.1 (Wntr 2004): 58(11).
Silliman, Benjamin. "Building healthy marriages through early and extended outreach with youth."
Journal of Psychology and Theology. 31.3 (Fall 2003): 270(13).
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